Wasnt going to post this..but you wont shut your mouth lashers

Someone in chat asked whether I had reported someone for collusion. Without any of the regulars around this is what lash had to say on the matter.

Thanks for all the beers this month - williamhill poker points.

Just a special thanks to Gunsklajdi, bambie5555, tdlkscj, cmonulashers and the rest of the donks on the williamhill points tables for paying for every beer i've had this month plus other little bits and bobs.

Thanks for the easy money this month!

Why freerolls suck - Donk of the day - shadowhd

I realise that you should always expect donkslike shadowhd in freerolls but this is about as bad as it can get really.

840 runners in any tourny, means a lengthy amount of time. Top 100 paid out.

Theres 101 people left and I'm dealt A♥K♣ in small blind, there's only 1 caller from mid position so I raise 4xbb which is 1000 chips at this stage. Both the BB and shadowhd call. The flop looks very strong for me K♦5♠A♠, I have two pair and a full house draw. I check in hope of check- raising. The mid position player min raises and I think hang on, I must surely be ahead, I'll flat call and hope he improves his hand on the turn and bet big.

The turn

K♦5♠A♠6♠.

I immediately raise half the pot, which fully commits me to a push should someone re-raise. BB calls. Mid position pushes all in. I suspected I've been sucked out by the flush but I am pot committed and have to call and hope I hit one of my 4 outs on the river to make a full house.

The river

K♦5♠A♠6♠10♥.

No joy.

Cards are turned over and BB is a fish hes holding A♣8♠. He exits 102nd, deservedly.

Mid position turns over K♠3♠ and I'm out in 101st out of 100 paid.

With hindsight my play post flop was bad, I never should of flat called. But even if I'd of re-raised say 4-6xbb, he would of called. Infact judging by his pre flop call hes loose enough to of called an all in on the flop.

Anyway you look at this I'm incredibly unlucky.

segal3 - donk of the day

Literally on the bubble, one place from paying out. This is usually where ppl should play extra tight. I'm dealt AJ in late position, there is one caller before me from early position. As he just flat calls and it's the bubble I push all in expecting any sane player to fold.

Oh no.

Segal3 decides 5 3 off suit is a safe enough hand to call an all in raise with right on the bubble.

No surprises, he hits a 3. This made him chip leader of the tourny, it wasnt like he was short stacked.

It left me wounded and my tourny exit hand was again AJ this time vs K10 pre flop again, I lost again.

donk of the day - iphonessugg ipoker donkey

Blinds are £0.10/0.20.
It's cash HU.
I'm dealt AA, I'm raised pre flop by his 8 6. I re-raise 7x bb. Flop comes Q 2 6.
He raises £5.60. I push all in. Turn card is an 8.

Complete donk.

Pokerinside.com - 'sponsorship' scam - Do NOT use this site.

The site has a very professional look to it and it's very easy to presume that this is a site like pokerstrategy
or pokersource where they genuinely do fulfill their promises of paying out no deposit bonuses or 'sponsorships' as Pokerinside like to call it.

But as I have this blog and I'm involved with a whole network of poker sites and forums I'm always on the look out for new deals that I can be affiliated with and recommend. This is not one of them.

The advertising of the $10 sponsorship is very clear, but once signed it becomes a little hazy on the steps to receiving it. But there is a 'live support button,' try clicking it and receiving any support at all is not as easy as it sounds.

After many and I mean many attempts to get through to General Support
I was told that all the sponsorships had ran out for the day and I was to come back, click claim at 12am Eastern Standard time in order to receive a bonus. That's 5am GMT.

When I got round to doing this I was told the next step would be to contact Live support again and my bonus would be issued immediately. The only problem I expected to encounter was the whole 75 attempts to get through.

You get this lovely message telling you that 'your enquiry is important to us. Please wait an operator will be with you shortly.' Two short lies.

Persistent in my ways I looked for an alternative way to contact the team and luckily at the bottom of the e-mail outlining my entitlement to the bonus was an msn contact.

Try adding the address and you will speak to a not so friendly guy called Mark who says that he has nothing to do with no deposit bonuses that's a seperate department and he is too busy 'dealing with serious players who want to deposit.'

Oh well, back to trying the support button.

When I finally get through, I'm asked for my PI username. Which I give and then I'm subjected to 35 minutes of trying to coax me into depositing.

When it's clear and apparent I'm not going to deposit and I do actually want what was advertised and what they are clearly unwilling to give I get this response. Btw 250 raked hands would mean they would be guaranteed $10 in commision before you even get $10, why bother?

Chat was cut off by general support very promptly after this.

Complete waste of my time and I don't recommend anybody to waste their time with these bunch of cowboys. Especially when there is much more efficient reputable sites out there like pokersource who deliver on their promises. Which coincidentally of much greater value, wider selection and paid out in a shorter time.

Donk of the Day - BELF4STL4D

I'm in small blind with 8 7 off suit and nobody raises, so I call half a blind to limp and the flop hits 8 7 3. I check/raise BELF4STL4D calls holding 4 3. Turn comes and it's a 5 I raise the pot, this prices him well out the pot. He calls. River comes and its another 3. I raise he pushes all in. Bad play is rewarded.

The hand directly after I left, he calls an all in with 7 9 off suit vs AJ pre flop and hits a straight. Awful player.

It's unsurprising all these players, lose massive amounts of money. But it's annoying that when they do win. It happens to be vs me :(

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William Hill allow poker players to cheat - (they admit this, screenshots provided)

After reporting an incident of two players colluding on William Hill, I received no response to this incident and the first I was to hear of this was from the two players themselves. Who directed a barrage of abuse at me for informing William Hill of their cheating ways.

That was the response I got from the chat operator who concedes that it's unfair that these players are allowed to play despite being proven to cheat.

Here is the e-mail confirming the fact that they have been proven to cheat and have been warned. Yet still allowed to play, still allowed to use foul language

I had a little break from iPoker for a while seen as the bad beats and the bad players were getting to me.

Upon my return the first two SnG's I play I'm dealt with at some point pocket aces. The pocket aces in both these tournies are cracked by pocket jacks in one and KJ os in the other.

Beaten by a 3 outer on my first game back he had a 6.5% of winning, he won.

SantaIkleHelper - I get top pair on flop (j) with K as kicker, flop comes K. But it also hits one of his 8 outs (31%) and he wins. Not as bad a beat as the others, but he still shouldnt of even been in the pot with q9 os.

Idontlikefrench - hits his 6.4% chance of runner runner to beat my aces with his jacks from the flop.

That's my first 3 games back on William Hill and ipoker since a whole collusion episode, in which William Hill openly accept that there was collusion and refuse to take any real action. I've therefore stopped promoting as an affiliate as I can't recommend this room to anyone.

Liverpool sign Andy Carrol for £35 million - Sets a new record for Britains most expensive footballer

Kenny Dalglish has had an offer for Newastle Uniteds Andy Carrol accepted. The player who has scored 11 goals in 19 for Newcastle seems to be in great demand as it is expected Liverpool talisman Fernando Torres is expected to leave Liverpool in a £50 million deal.

Personally I think £35 million for Andy Carrol is like paying £1000 a night for a cheap hooker with no teeth. He's on his way to Melwood and is going to be a Liverpool player now.

Andy carroll has also handed in a transfer request and the deal has been confirmed as being accepted.



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What is expected value in poker?

I've quite often heard this term dished about in the poker world. I hear it mostly when people make an awful call and then wrongly use 'EV' as their excuse.

But what is EV in poker exactly?

It's a mathematical way of putting a price on your decisions based on probability. A nice article describing this is in the link.

andwhateh - my first game back at ipoker and I run into this donk.

First hand I'm heavy stacked

I have A♥ J♦ and raise the pot pre flop, everyone folds except andwhateh. Flop comes 9♣,8♣,10♥.

Turn comes 3♥ and andwhat is holding 3♦5♥ , I raise very heavy and he goes over the top of my raise and pushes all in. I miss my open ended straight draw and the 14 outs I had and he wins with a pair of 5's.

He shouldn't of called pre flop.
He shouldn't of called on the turn.

Heres the play. I'm '1erb.'

He then doubles raising all in for 18k chips pre flop with a pair of 6's only to be called by a decent player called frickenriver1 who has pocket aces. He obviously makes a set of 6's along the way.

He now has 36k chips

I have about 18k chips and I see he limps in from early position. I have pocket queens and raise heavily. I get 2 callers. Flop is a rainbow 6, 7, 8. I check expecting the donk to raise and he does, the whole pot. I raise almost all in and I both call. There is 50k in the pot. They both only hold an 8, they have an OESD.

They both risked their tournament for a 31.5% chance of winning. It wasn't even good EV for the K8 to call nevermind Dr.Donk andwhateh. Turn card comes and it's obviously the 9 they both need.

My QQ is busted by 8 7 off suit and K 8 off suit.

Neither should of called on any street.

Awful players on ipoker and I'm convinced more everytime I play on it that for some reason awful play is favoured. Keep the newbies happy?

Eric Seidel wins the highest stakes game of poker ever played ($250k seat)

he may be rich but he sure is ugly

2011 couldn't be going any better for this guy. We are just 27 days in and he has already won the game with the highest buy in ever

He's already came 3rd in the PCA PLO tourny nettings 48k and third in the aussie millions challenge netting another 100k

Now, Seidel has captured the biggest buy-in event in poker tournament history–the 2011 Aussie Millions $250,000 Super High Rollers. For the win, Seidel banks $2.5M AUD and moves into third place (past Jamie Gold) on the all-time career money winners list (Johnny Chan is still 34th at $6.1M, just sayin’…).

Sam Trickett followed his Aussie Millions $100,000 Challenge victory with a runner-up to Seidel, earning himself another $1.4M AUD. David Benyamine finished third for $1.1M AUD.

In related news, only 18 remain in the 2011 Aussie Millions Main Event. It’s a pretty stacked field, with Chris Moorman leading at 1,643,000. He’s followed by Australian Mark Vos, a ginger, with 1,200,000. Other notables remaining include Sorel Mizzi (965,000) and Patrik Antonius (958,000).

Erick Lindgren and Howard Lederer were eliminated in 33rd and 34th place respectively ($30,000 AUD).

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Rummy is a family of games all sharing the "draw and discard" structure. Besides this unique play pattern, the main goal is to get rid of all of the cards in your hand by forming either sets or runs. All of the Rummy games contain some kind of a scoring system making the play for money much more attractive. There are many theories regarding the origins of the Rummy games, each one attributes the invention of the game to different people or nations around the world.


The Orient

One of the earliest card games to incorporate this play pattern is the Chinese card game from the 18th century named Mahjong (see also, Mah-Jong, Mah-Jongg, Mai-Jiang). Soon enough, many western versions appeared worldwide, bearing names such Conquian, kanhoo and others. The common assumption regarding the swift spread of these card games and their variations is attributed to Chinese immigrants, British and Portuguese merchants who were familiarized with the game during their stay in the mainland.


Mexico

Some versions trace the Rummy origins to the Spanish game "Conquian", brought to America by the Spanish communities to immigrate west. David Parlett considers this game to be the ancestor of all Rummy games, and mentions its similarity to the popular modern game of Gin Rummy.

Rummy is a family of games that share a similar structure. All these games include a similar game play pattern that consists of drawing and discarding a card during each turn. This is done in order to help players meld the cards in their hands into sets and runs. A set is a three or four cards meld of the same rank. A Run is a three or more consecutive cards of the same suit.


The most popular variant of the Rummy games is Gin Rummy. Most versions state that the game was invented in New York during the early decades of the 20th century.

It is believed the game's name derives from its inventor's fondness of the alcoholic drink of Gin. The game became most popular when it was adopted by Hollywood's elite and famous movie stars back in the 1930's for they enjoyed playing this exciting and quick game on the set during takes. Another reason for the Rummy games' popularity is believed to result from the great depression period, when people did not have many financial resources to engage in outdoors entertainment activity, and turned for some indoors quality time with family and friends.


In the last couple of years, many Rummy variants have gone online, offering players from all over the world to join in play and enjoy the variety of Rummy entertaining qualities. Whether it's about people who grew up playing the Rummy games, or the new ones to pick them up, the Rummy games are here to stay for many generations to come. Joining people in play and providing them with the ultimate quality time, the Rummy games continue to play a dominant role and always have a special, fun and exciting variation to offer to each and every one of us.

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holmesy9728 - My last hand on ipoker

This was my last game on ipoker for a while. I know it seems unlogical to blame a network for the bad beats. But it's all just too common that bad play and bad players are rewarded.

Equally stacked . I had 99 and raised considerably to be called by his ace 4. Another raise from me on flop sees him push all in with ace high. As i've made a set and no dangers I call without hesitation. He has ace 4 of diamonds. There is only 1 diamond on the board. The donk needs runner runner. He hits diamond diamond, obviously

I battle my way back to a decent chip size and he calls my pocket 8's with ace high again for an all in and he wins again.

So i battle my way back again. And my exit hand is ace jack vs his queen 3.

if the way to win on ipoker is simply to go against all rules of averages and mathematics. Theres no point in playing. Fuck ipoker.

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gunsklajdi - genuinely the worst poker player i've ever seen in my entire life

He's the worst player yet the luckiest player I have ever EVER seen. I can put my hand on my heart and say that in 10 years of playing poker I have never seen anyone who plays as awful as this guy but gets so lucky and hits almost every time.

I have AQ - I raise 8 x bb
Gunsklajdi has 3 2 off suit - he calls 8x bb

FLOP is ACE 2 5

So this dickhead has a pair of 2's with a 3 as a kicker. A gutshot straight draw too.

Despite my pre flop raise indicating I have a strong hand he raises 720. He must surely know he's behind unless he is retarded?

I push all in - he calls.

Turn card delivers another 2.. he has a set.


this is one hand of possibly 20-30 he has done this with today. 2 7, 10 2, 8 3, it really doesn't matter what cards they are he will call and he will hit. Just how awful he is and how often he is rewarded for his awful play has seriously made me doubt using ipoker anymore. I think I'm going back to play on pokerstars.

Genuinely, that's the icing on the cake for me with ipoker. Never have I seen one play deliver so many bad beats with such awful play as this complete and utter donut.

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momoney102 - how do you play against super donks?

This is a genuine question! I have this bogey player 'momoney102' in this little run of play she had been donking to steal the blinds every hand. She'd only just doubled up a few hands before with her very skilful bingo technique with king 7 off suit. Here she pushes all in with 5 9 off suit and I'm foced to call as I have ace 8 and I just know shes pushing with nothing as per usual. She obviously hits a straight. What can you honestly do vs people like this? There is many of them about and obviously good play is meant to prevail overall but in this one particular instance this player actually thinks shes good/better than me as she has won more chips vs me HU. Totally disregarding the fact that she won those chips with 5 9 off suit and 8 6 off suit the other day versus my pocket aces. These really are the worst kind of players about, the ones that genuinely believe in their own heads that they are good but play like this. She actually does think that it was good play :/

apparently these stats are total rubbish as it was her 'son that lost all the money' really shes a pro








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bluec7 - donk of the day

The thing that still always astounds me with each donked hand is the cognitive thought process behind it.

I have ace queen suited. Four players are at table all evenly stacked and I raise the pot which is two thirds of my stack. I get one caller. The flop is ACE nothing 2, I obviously push the remainder of my stack in and get a caller. He turns over his cards and its King 2 off suit. Why? just why? the turn card comes and he hits a king?

I asked him what his logic was behind it. He says 'chance'. He obviously missed mathematics lessons at school.

I'm absolutely dumbfounded at how awful this play really is.

-41% that whole chance thing isnt working out that well


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popskii64 - words cannot describe how bad this play is

i limp with k8 suited and the flop hits 8 2 5, i raise the pot and he re-raises me double, I push all in expecting him to fold two overcards he calls his entire stack and its a large one for with q 2 off suit. Turn card comes and its a 2. Unreal how bad can one player be?

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taranta 13 - pre flop donkkeyy

AJclubs vs A5 of spades! flop comes j nothing nothing with 2 clubs..

This guy NEEDS runner runner, he hits 2 spades.

This should be a lesson to myself NOT to play speed tournies. He actually. Send me out this tourny after this and i had aj again vs his 10's


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impact2134 - donk donk donk awful donk

This is one of those momumental idiots who has no clue how to play at all. He's always doing this kind of stuff.

Heres 2 hands he donked in back to back. First i got aces, then jacks.

re-raised all in with qj vs me jj and he hits a q on river

this guy really needs a length of rope and a good staircase



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Just got 4th place finish on the facebook freeroll for William Hill

I only ever really chip lead briefly at the end for about 2 minutes so I'm not too disappointed finishing 4th.

and my exit hand was only my own fault. I pushed with a9 suited with the blinds at 12k I got a caller with aq suited. I never mind losing to worse hands or decent players.

The prize was only £30 which is a big difference from the £125 of first place. But it's all free money in a free roll at willhill so I can't complain.





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For the loser that claims getting 250k in a week is impossible.

"Theres no way you have done 250k in a week"

"my fuckin arse"

"it's impossible not even allin can do that"

"prove it then"

"I'm not asking you I'm FUCKING telling you that you havent done that"

"Just get the fuckin screens up that'll prove it"

all the above quoted by great donk cmonulashers

I started playing for points on 5th January. I posted that i'd done 250k on 13th january. The truth is I've probably done closer to 300k and lost a lot these past few days. Thanks to donks like yourself.


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For my most frequent visitor.. solely a post for you as you requested it.

donking with 10 j vs aa and all in too

donking with 10 9 off suit all in vs aa

donking with q8 vs 2 callers and my ak


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gthing3 donk of the day award for his 79 off suit beating my KK

Out of all the hands I've played today and the many donks and bad beats I've received the award for the most outstanding clueless donk goes to this fella!

Someone raises 4x the blind he holds 7 9 off suit in his hand he calls, then I reraise 16x the bb i get one more caller to my right which is cmonulashers obviously trying to fish with something like A8 as usual. gthing3 also calls the huge raise. flop comes 10 5 8 which leaves him with an OESD, I obviously check expectng lashes to raise with what i think is his crappy ace 8 but he just checks too. The turn card comes 7. So now he has a monster which is a pair of 7's and gthing pushes all in. I obvously call. He hits his straight on river. Ding dong donk of the day!

Well at least he isn't one of them idiots who believe they are good but infact are atrocious. This guy must surely know how bad he is. His return on investment is -25%.

Last game of poker for me today as I've just been knocked out the $60k tourny albeit from my own bad play.

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ellyy11 donks with ace 5 off suit vs my ak

Just no need to donk with ace 5.. the blinds were 20/40! The very next hand ellyy11 donks in with 10 4 vs my pocket aces that tripled up. What a loser!


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